The ugly end

Last night, after a couple beers with a few old friends (I realize this sounds like the beginning of a joke, but it isn’t), we began discussing the current state of the economy. One of my friends wondered aloud,

What happens if the current economic collapse extends well beyond its present state? What if the government fails, currency becomes worthless, and we’re all plunged into a state of total anarchy? Do you just form a gang with your friends and start looting and pillaging?

Between the three of us, we have 9 academic degrees (including high school diplomas), with two more on the way. BA, MA, MFA, PhD. Unfortunately, collections of letters printed on high bond paper with raised seals don’t mean shit when you need to smack someone in the face with a 2x4 and steal his case of Faygo. Or, as my friend more appropriately put it, “I just want to watch the Arrested Development DVDs and drink good beer.”

I think this was the only time in my life when I looked at my two good pals, both of whom I’ve known for over 15 years, and thought, “Wow, I’m gonna need some new friends.” This economic stimulus thing better work, because I don’t want to choose my friends based on their ability to brain someone with a fungo bat.