Tuesday, April 21, 2009

How to drink with The Dude, Part 2

When this month's Playboy arrived, I noticed that they've also said a little bit about drinking while watching The Big Lebowski as part of the Vodka section in "The Drinking Man's Guide to Cinema." Since I thought that some of you would be interested, here it is:

VODKA
Drink While Watching:
The Big Lebowski, the 1998 Coen brothers ode to slack and bowling that made the white russian cool again. The Dude (Jeff Bridges) is seldom without a glass (or a joint) as he seeks retribution for the defiling of a rug that "really tied the room together, man." Becostumed superfans (a.k.a. achievers) gather annualy for Lebowski Fest. This year it's May 7 and 8, in Los Angeles (lebowskifest.com).
Necessary Equipment: Two ounces of vodka, one ounce of KahlĂșa and one ounce of half and half on the rocks. Use nondairy creamer instead and it's called a caucasian. Sip yours every time someone says "dude."
More Vodka, Please:
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) reminds us what an underrated goddess Karen Allen is as she drinks a giant goon under the table in Nepal and out-sloshes a Frenchman in Egypt.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Let's avoid supporting evil.

Oh, you know the type. It’s the guy walking down the street in Mt. Lebanon wearing a North Carolina Tarheels jersey. He’s on his way to watch the title game. He went to college at Grove City, and now he works in Pittsburgh. He’s never been to North Carolina’s campus, and neither have any of his friends or family members. But he really likes North Carolina, especially when they advance to the title game. Oh yeah, and he’s a total Pitt-hater and likes to talk shit when people wear Pitt clothing to a bar in Pittsburgh.

Few things in sports are more wrong than acting like an asshole in someone else’s town. If I go to see Pitt play at Georgetown, I’m not going to give shit to people in DC for being Georgetown fans. Why not? Because I’m not an asshole. Because it’s perfectly natural for people to like their home teams. And it’s fun to meet interesting people of other persuasions. Additionally, people like to watch their teams, and they like to cheer for them with other fans. Why would I try to ruin other people’s good times by being a negative hater? After all, what did I expect? That everyone would be a Pitt fan everywhere I traveled? Ridiculous. But that’s what Mr. Mt. Lebanon expects—he thinks that everyone should be a North Carolina fan today, and a Yankees fan tomorrow because that’s the “cool” thing to do. In reality, it’s about as “cool” as being a big Monsanto backer.

North Carolina basketball is an awful affliction from which this country may never recover. Any indifferent viewer can see that referees favor the Tarheels at any opportunity. Tyler Hansbrough merely has to set foot in the paint without scoring in order to set off a chorus of whistles. It doesn’t matter if he traveled before his shot or if he had any contact with a player from the opposing team. Since he’s the North Carolina big man, it’s simply inconceivable that he could simply have missed a shot. The rules of the game don’t apply for North Carolina—their coach can throw louder tantrums, their players can throw more needless elbows and shove opponents out of bounds. The result of the play will inevitably be a foul or a travel on the player North Carolina shoved. Why do people like a team like this when it amounts to the same thing as liking the Evil Empire in Star Wars? And do you seriously believe that UConn is the only team committing recruiting violations like that? I have no doubt that North Carolina’s done worse, and further, that officials look the other way because it would just be too much of a splash to put mighty UNC on probation.

And most importantly, what’s the point of liking whatever big-program team looks good these days? Bandwagon fans have no connection to the teams they support just as they have no connection to reality itself. I like Pitt because I grew up in a suburb of Pittsburgh, because I’ve watched their sports teams religiously since infancy, because I worked there, earned a graduate degree there, and because I grew up around the campus since my mom taught there for thirty years and since we had season tickets in the old Pitt Stadium. I have a legit connection to the university and to the teams that represent it. This kind of connection, even if it is as insignificant as having visited a place frequently, adds something to fandom. There’s a real reason for liking this team, a connection to something beyond the fact that the team happens to be good this year. I know that some people have that kind of connection to North Carolina; that’s great and I wish them well. But the poser walking around Mt. Lebanon showing off his brand new North Carolina jersey and running his mouth should turn around and go home.

I’m not a fan of either team playing for the national title tonight. Still, I say, “GO SPARTANS!”