Conversation or Micturition?

There’s a large lounge room in the middle of the law school building at Duquesne, a big open space with tables, booths, a few couches, and a coffee counter that also sells pre-made salads and sandwiches. Naturally, the bathrooms at this central location are the busiest in the law school. But despite the fact that I see at least three or for other dudes when I use the men’s room there, generally no conversation takes place at the urinals themselves. People will say things at the sinks and on the way in or out, but not while they’re actually peeing.

But one man makes his living breaking this custom. He’s a middle-aged law professor who taught his Corporations and Securities Regulation courses entirely through PowerPoint presentations. This guy walks up to the urinal, unzips, and starts chatting. He says things like, “cold out there today, huh” or “boy, that Steelers game yesterday made me nervous.” To supplement this conversational brilliance, the guy even looks at you while he’s saying these things. And I’m not talking about a casual glance; I’m talking about looking at you the way he’d look at you in conversation across a table. He’ll even take the urinal right next to yours even if all of the others are open.

Where did this guy learn this? Did he grow up someplace where all the dudes would line up at the urinals and have conversation time? Did his dad tell him that he should talk to other men in the restroom? Doesn’t he notice how awkwardly some guys respond to him (or don’t) when he does this? For me, I guess there’s just something slightly amiss about making small talk with a colleague while your dicks are both hanging out.