Who's going to be the next Fighting Irish football coach? Have you considered my left butt cheek?

As the end of another college football season nears, it's time once again to listen to 24-7 speculation about all of the coaching changes that will happen in preparation for next year. Apart from their role in polling each week, which seems to have more impact on a team's post-season prospects than what the team actually does on the field, this is the part of what the media does to college football that I hate the most.

This week, like so many brainless honeybees, the media swarmed in South Bend to see who will replace Charlie Weis. While Weis's departure might be likely, Notre Dame hasn't made any official announcement about it. Maybe, and I know I must be a lunatic for thinking this, but maybe Notre Dame actually cares what happens if they get invited to a bowl. After all, they are bowl eligible at 6 and 6. Maybe they don't want to fire the guy and bring in some interim coach for the last game of the season. Maybe they don't want to spend the millions it's going to cost to buy out the remainder of Weis's contract. But seriously, can't we just wait until the guy actually gets fired before we talk about who's going to replace him?

And then there's the coverage surrounding who will get Steve Kragthorpe's job at Louisville, where there's at least the consolation that Kragthorpe's been ousted officially. On a daily basis, it throws distraction into other teams who actually have post-season prospects to worry about. While they're probably working hard as hell to prepare for the SEC championship game, Florida Defensive Coordinator Charlie Strong and Alabama Offensive Coordinator Jim McElwain will be pummeled with constant questioning from reporters about the Louisville job. And more importantly, those coordinators' players could become distracted. Can't the damn sportswriters wait until the season's over to ask these guys if they're leaving?

But that's not the worst of it. To me, the worst is when the discussion turns to guys like Chris Petersen and Kevin Sumlin. Again, maybe I'm crazy, but I think it's possible that Chris Petersen doesn't want to leave Boise State. He makes over $1 million a year, far in excess of ten times what I earn as an attorney. It's quite possible for him to win 10 games a season there, every single season, until he retires. The people of Boise and his players love him and what he does there. He's fighting the good fight all the time, making a case for the seemingly fundamental proposition that every team in a given sports league should have some chance of winning that league. His team is on national TV as much as any other coach. But oh no, he MUST want to leave for some "better" job like Notre Dame, where he'll get four or five seasons at most to win a national championship before he gets booted out the door unceremoniously just like the two guys before him. And if he does get lucky and win a big one, maybe he can stick around for six or seven seasons. At Boise State, with the kind of dynasty that they have going on, Petersen might have the last job he ever needs. Maybe he doesn't want to move across the country and subject himself and his family to an absolutely brutal spotlight just for more money and a few years of notorious fame. Maybe he'd rather do something that actually matters, and that he'll actually be proud of when he's done.